This was Madison first week at VBS and her first week at school. the first day was rough, in hind sight it was probably cause she got lost that am and of course had never been there before. She had a brave face on as I left she said good bye and kissed me , but as I watched from the window she wasn’t very happy crying in the arms of one of her teachers. And as I sat in the car I was conflicted if leaving her crying with strangers ( and her cousin ) was best decision for her .
Worrying if I had my instincts all wrong (or now as it referred to attachment parenting) was my daughter was overly attached to me, was she spoiled , and had she been manipulating me the entire time. I reflected on the bed sharing , extended breast feeding, not forcing her to hug or kiss anyone , not spanking , practicing baby led weaning, staying home with her and only entrusting her care to me , my husband , grandmothers and a few close friends /family if needed. Had I totally messed her up by not sticking her on a sched and leaving her in a room to cry alone like all the books suggest?
Then I thought But wait I parented Alexis the same way, I fallowed my instincts with the guidance of my mom of course. Alexis bed shared till 2 years and room shared till she was 4years old! She was always with me , my mom or her amazing car provider until Billy entered our life. Alexis is fine. She’s more than fine , she’s a beautiful and loving child , very interested in theater and performing. She has been sleeping over at grandmas forever and spends entire summers with her grandma in MI. she’s well adjusted and has what I hope is a secure attachment to me, and other family. I was attachment parenting before I even knew it was a thing. I’m not the perfect parent sometimes I’m frustrated or exhausted and I make mistakes, but still was ALL my attachment parenting all wrong ? Did I luck out with Alexis?
When I picked Maddi up that day and as we continued through this week she was sooooo happy and excited to share all she had learned with me. She’s excited about her Preschool starting in the fall. And I realized I wasn’t wrong , I hadn’t done her any great disservice. She is securely attached to me and by me waiting till she was ready to be on her own was the right choice. Her knowing her mommy (or daddy) will always be there has created this amazing little person who is so caring and wild. I parented by my instincts, I listened to them, I respected them.
Attachment parenting doesn’t look the same for everyone, that’s whats so great about it. Its about listening to our children , to our babies . Its about not forcing societal norms on them. Its about letting them be who they are going to be, not trying to fit them in our schedules. Its about creating peace and teaching. Its about unconditional loving. I’m sad that America has made children an inconvenience that needs to be trained. People talking about how children now a days are spoiled brats and its cause their parents don’t hit / spank them enough. A women cant even breast feed at a Zoo with out flak for Pete’s sake. Children and babies are people too . Yes they are small and don’t always make the best choices, they are loud. messy and sometimes their communication skills are a bit hard to decipher , but still they are people. This type of parenting worked for our family. Do you fit your self into group or fallow a type of parenting ?
